K: Dear father, I know you only say such things to comfort me. it is far worse than that. It is set in the era of Queen Elizabeth II and Blackadder is a mere Lord rather than a Prince. Afraid for his position at court, Blackadder searches for a 'cure', until Bob conveniently reveals that she is in fact a … Q: All right, off you go then. It is not her I brood over. Yuck! Oh, I have to drug them first of course! E: That so Baldrick? E: All right, I’m sorry. Ah Nursie, I like it firm and fruity. K: Ignore old Mister Grumpy. Q: You don’t surprise me. I don’t eat invertebrates for fun you know. E: No Baldrick, I think that grandchildren may now be out of the question. So Flash Heart tweaked the Adders beard, from now he always shall be single. Percy! E: Well, you know where you will have to live. B: Yes, my lord. Well, I cannot spend all day gossiping. [Baldrick holds a dartboard over his head, while Edmund practises the bow]. He used to laugh at these people with the funny faces and the bells. E: Yes, that’s true and now I want to marry you, Bob. Hurrah! E: Yes.. oh.. unfortunately ma’m, my best man still has not arrived. b: In that case my lord… I love you! The Black Adder Black Adder the Third. K: You’ll make a lovely bridesmaid Baldrick. Ah, ah, ah, ah. Is her nose as pretty as mine? You look sexy. Blackadder II. B: And I only just put it there. Look, I’m waiting for my father in law. I’m looking forward to having you… Euh, having another man about the house instead of that animal Baldrick. Blackadder feels a funny attraction for his manservant and decides to marry when he discovers he is a she. B: Bah, I was wondering if I might sleep on the roof sir? [Bob and Edmund engage in friendly wrestling, just when the mood changes, Baldrick enters the room]. I don’t want you coughing all the way through the ceremony. But I can’t ask Baldrick. You don’t have to talk in that stupid voice to me. On all image pages. [Flash (in dress) and Kate (in boys clothes) on a horse, about to depart] F: So long, suckers! E: Sorry Percy? K: Goodbye father. E: Yes. Watch BlackAdder Season 2 Episode 1 - Bells. Chains. Come on, we’re late. Be out of the house in ten minutes. E: He’s called Baldrick. I’m in love with my man servant. Of course you do, and more besides, I warrant thee, young scamp. A world-weary Captain Blackadder, veteran of numerous campaigns, suddenly finds himself in the trenches facing four million German machine guns. Girls are normally called Elizabeth or Mary. E: Oh not at all Bob. And besides, I thought we were friends. Q: Nice try Melchy, but it is no use. D: Now then what seems to be the trouble? Where is Edmund these days? Thou plot is, Blackadder: thou wouldst be king and drown Middlesex in a butt of wine. B: Euh .. I’ve got nowhere to go, my lord. I had three sisters and they were called Donald, Eric and Basil. E: Kate, he looks like what he is: a dung ball in a dress. Unfortunately I already have a servant. [in chorus]. Flash by name, Flash by nature. He’s wearing a dress. For it is better to die poor than to live in shame and ignominy. D: No, it’s all part of the service. With Rowan Atkinson, Tony Robinson, Tim McInnerny, Miranda Richardson. E: Well, go to Spain. B: Not to worry my lord, the arrow didn’t in fact enter my body. In a couple of weeks you ‘ll be beating your servant with a stick, just like the rest of us. b: Oh no, my lord! I must look to my own dear tiny darling to sustain me in my frail dotage. I ‘ll pop a couple down my codpiece before I go to bed. b: I’m an honest hard working lad, but poor and I must support my father who is stark raving mad. ... Then Ben Elton and Richard Curtis got together and produced (what I consider to be) the best Blackadder season of the lot. E: Oh God. B: I’ve been in your service since I was two and a halve, my lord. Prince Ludwig / Simon Partridge (2 episodes, 1986) Tom Baker. Here is the full script for Blackadder Series 2 Episode 1 – Bells. Just leaves more rampant totty for us real men, eh? E: Oh no. [Mysterious music on a flute] E: Aah… good Lord! [Lord Flashheart enters in spectacular fashion] F: It’s me, Flash! I would like you… S: Oh, I’m so proud! It’s mother, isn’t it? S: Well my lord. He’s a bridesmaid and besides, I need a friend, an equal, an old and trusty companion. b: [to the camera] How little he knows and how much I would have him know. Come on, get on with your shot. Season 1 See also. What is it brings you here? E: Well that is the why I am so utterly sick of the sight of you. E: Were you? N: You almost were a boy, my little cherrypit. F: Oh, please… go on the game. M: Oh, but I must confess madam, that I’m astonished that Blackadder could possibly have eyes for any other woman than your self. chum. Episode 1 Blackadder finds his new manservant, Bob, curiously pleasant company. [kisses Percy heavily] S: Ohghw…he.. what an original perfume. The Black Adder: 1. Start Watching. Last thing I heard He started worshipping ME…. There’re millions of them. The Blackadder saga begins with a medieval tale of disaster and drollery. E: Yes, indeed. He’s my father, my only living relative. Prince Edmund (Black Adder) arrives late to the Battle of Bosworth Field, accidentally killing King Richard III, thinking he was stealing his horse. Download to watch offline and even view it on a big screen using Chromecast. B: God bless you, sweet master. Rowan Atkinson (Mr. Bean, Johnny English) and Tony Robinson star in this classic comedy that re-writes the annals of history. E: Hmm, that’s true. K: But I can’t run in this frock. I thought she was a boy. And then you would have to marry someone without a nose and that wouldn’t be very nice, would it? The first series contains two (one for episodes 1-5 and one for the last episode), the second series contains six (one for each episode), and the third and fourth series contain none. Q: Edmund, don’t be so naughty. E: Well, well I’d naturally assume we were having a big lads joke about back-tickle as the way we healthy fellows often do and I’d probably grab you for a friendly wrestle and then we’d probably slap each others sides like jolly good chums and laugh at what it would be like if we really did fancy each other. God be praised, it is a miracle. Good day. W: When I fancy people, I sleep with them. S: I’m sworn to secrecy. S: Oh good, I see the target is ready. Episodes 6. 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